Phones and Freehold

FINALLY, a new phone... And I did it in French! Ok fine, I STARTED in French and then was told I could speak in English, but the attempt was there, my friends... The attempt was there (emphasis)... Having spent too much money and too much time, the bottom line reality is that once I get an idea into my head, I really can't help but fixate on it until accomplished, got, bought, done, or whatever else to it that is necessary. And now that said phone is in said hand, I feel a gentle serenity and lack of extreme need to use it all the time... Is this how addicts feel after jonesing so intensely? Or is it just the peaceful contentment that befits a prize happily won? I choose the latter, though without the delusion that addiction has not left it's very Dark Mark (Harry Potter, yes!)...

Needless to say, this has been a surprisingly tumultuous week... What with some nannying drama, surging emotions from the effects of such an epic transition, jet lag finally waning, potentially too much wine/champagne every night, and the craziness that is my ever-passionate soul, I have been boomeranging with the best of them... But while French culture finds it's way into my daily life, I can't help thinking of James Bond's family home on the Scottish moors when relishing (and yes, bragging too) in the house I am currently staying in...

The Hills Are Alive ("I'm the Green Fairy!")

My adventures in the world of childcare now begin... I am responsible for the sweetest little two-year-old girl who speaks better French than I do, a rambunctious 10-year-old boy, and a sassy 15-year-old young lady. I truly felt like Maria in "The Sound of Music" when we bonded over keeping secrets and trying to make a bed. While throwing sheets from one room to the next, I sincerely considered breaking out into a rousing chorus of "My Favorite Things" (full harmony and orchestrations included), or at the very least turning curtains into clothes. On the flip side, when trying to maneuver the previously mentioned Land Rover through Metz Centre, signs in French, traffic lights microscopic, and many roads the size of a New York City alley way, I felt the considerable panic of having three lives in my hands and a car that probably costs more than I made last year. Needless to say, we spent about an hour weaving through French rues in search of the Centre Pompidou Metz, only to turn back and return home without ever achieving our destination. Once we actually locate this infamous landmark in days to come, I shall then have to conquer parking the massive beast (eep!) I am pretty sure the carnival of events has only just begun...

Sausadventure

Today's French slash European experience involved the magical world of sausages. Just to be clear, I have currently been bouncing between two families, one near Nancy and one near Metz. Not wanting to offend these ever-welcoming people, I have a bit of a hang-up about sausages. And let's just put it out there right now, in my opinion there is no way to talk about sausages without sounding dirty. Coming from a half-Polish background, the one thing I have really developed from my culture is a love of kielbasa. However, via one of those completely nonsensical childhood notions, I pretty much don't eat any other sausage-esque foodstuffs, including hot dogs. They are weird and gross and I have no need for them. Period. But in a land of adventure and under the care of gracious hospitality, you take the sausage and you go for it... That being said, I now digress to the naughty innuendo... Eating sausage other than kielbasa is like having sex with one man while still being in love with another... The motions are the same and on the surface things seem great, but the taste will never compare, and the whole time you're thinking of kielbasa to make up for the prevalent discomfort. Consider kielbasa during your next rendezvous ; )

Despite this all, I looked around after dinner and thought to myself, "OMG you did it. You are sitting at a table in a beautiful home in France listening to a native family conjure their French language. Not only that, but what the eff?! You LIVE here now!!!... I really can have whatever I want when the focus is that crystalline... Learn it, Live it, Love it.

Communication Juxtaposition

Being without a phone for a few days can be liberating as well as supremely frustrating. Not that I haven't had occasional email and gchat or whatever else, but I have felt intensely the addiction I have to communicating... And often... A self-proclaimed narcissist in many ways, I gave up facebook well over a year ago for a variety of reasons, not least of which being that I couldn't stand refreshing the same damn web page every 5 seconds when bored to tears at an evil job. I don't look down on facebook and I often ponder a revival, but it also brought to very sharp relief who in my life was willing to contact me privately and personally rather than only publicly and without purpose. I have a knack for rhetoric and heralding Bohemian ideals to the masses but I also love connecting with the people I adore. When I want YOUR opinion I ask YOU. when I miss YOU I tell YOU. And while there are times that my heart's desire seems too passionate and dear to speak hastily, I try the best I can to make it clear where I love. I believe both types of communication have their place and when used appropriately amount to a wealth of experience. I love people and I love words. What an obvious conclusion that a happy marriage between the two would result in beautiful communication via the sometimes desecrated modern technology...

Jet Lag

The initial expectations of a new country are profoundly influenced by jet lag... Though I continue to feel absolutely certain of my choice to be here, voluminous amounts of exhaustion and dehydration tend to tamper with the merit of an exciting journey... My soul is so anxious to jump into the grandness of my surroundings while my eyes are perpetually drooping in fatigue. It is incredibly bizarre to feel like you are completely out of place and completely comfortable in a new environment all at the same time...My emotions, which have been tantalizingly close to the surface for some time now (Well, let's just face it, they always are, but in these circumstances even more to the extreme) keep galloping forward. Happily, I have already met some supremely generous, kind people and had my first in-home French meal, fully equipped with entree, baguette, mains, cheese, dessert, sparking water, tons of wine, coffee, and obscene amounts of French I mostly couldn't understand. And of course, the stunning scenery invades...

Freefall

Newark to Zurich, Zurich to Luxembourg all safe and sound... I have to say that after a fairly innocuous plane ride, my adventures were kicked into high gear the second I got off the plane, when I was handed the keys to a LandRover and told to drive from Luxembourg to Metz, France after an overnight flight and some Xanax... For the last several months, even the last year or two, I feel as if I've been riding a roller coaster slowly but surely building momentum to the apex. Being told I had to drive down French highways 20 seconds after getting off the plane was more akin to a hungover free fall. Happily, I made it to Metz alive, exhausted, but surrounded by quite a beautiful town in which to kick off my French adventure...

A Bientôt, America!

Tonight I embark on my much anticipated grand adventure... I look back on the past two years and realize the changes and evolutions I have made. When I went to Paris the first time, I was embittered by a soul-sucking job, creative doldrums, broken heart, and an ample loathing of New York City. This time I leave less embittered, and much more bitter-sweet. I give hugs to family and friends who I will sincerely miss, tears streaming down my face as my two-year-old nephew kisses Auntie goodbye, and a City that I have come to appreciate much more than ever before after a decade of angsty inhabitance. It is a far more contented feeling to know that while I am jumping into a land of unknown possibility, loving friends and some familiarity in a foreign land, there is a vibrant network of support and experience continuing to weave my past into my future, even from afar...