Friday, November 22, 2013

The Gems That We Collect

We all experience magical meetings that change the course of our lives. Some are small bumps in the road while others alter the entire route, often leaving us lost, confused, completely disoriented, but very possibly heading toward a bright new hope. In NYC I frequently felt like I was sitting on the side of the road or continually going in circles, whereas in Paris I feel confident that I am on a positive path, though destination very much so yet to be determined. 

The other night I had one of those cosmic meetings that baffles because you are left feeling that you must have learned some sort of lesson, but have no idea what that might be. Sometimes I think it's possible that I truly am manifesting my desire to be a princess, find my prince charming, and live in a castle happily ever after done and done. Other times I feel profoundly certain that I am merely part of an existentially cosmic joke, with an increasingly twisted and eternal punchline. Either way, for most of the evening I once again stepped into a modern fairy tale...

I met a new language partner in a café near République. Yes, laugh if you will, we all know where this is headed when it begins with the words "language partner". But as it was my second meeting of the day, and I almost canceled due to exhaustion and the fact my French skills were seeming atrociously worse than ever after almost two weeks with English speaking friends and family, I really had no expectations. I even approached the meeting with cell phone in hand, hovering outside the café because my father was emailing me about flight plans to New York for Christmas. This new gentleman partner had to tap me on the arm and pull my attention to the fact that I was approaching a social slash educational engagement. We sat down together and I immediately began word-vomiting all of the thoughts in my head from the day, expecting once again that this man, like anyone else I meet, will simply jump on my crazy bandwagon or shutdown and wait for the ride to be over. Happily, he seemed relatively ok with my overflowing emotions, and suggested we order some wine, though I honestly and truly and sincerely had only planned on a coffee for the evening. Yes blah fine, it's like watching the horror movie and wanting to scream at the film screen, stop! Don't go in! It's a vicious trap!!! Wine... the ever-seductive sphinx-elixir full of charms and curses forever more...

Cutting to the chase, the evening transgressed into a cornucopia of similar tastes, creative effusing, mutual adoration, and lots of wine. A good six hours later after the café and dinner at another restaurant, he offered to drive me home across Paris on his motor scooter, where we stopped for yet another drink and I was painfully rewarded with preciously warm and yummy kisses along with the information that he does in fact have a girlfriend. I'm pretty sure he even mentioned this earlier in the evening, but either I didn't truly understand or just didn't want to understand, living in the moment as a neurotic girl from Connecticut can rarely do. There are many mysteries to why situations like this occur, and even fewer satisfactory answers. 

I am also currently in the process of letting go of another man quite important and dear to me. While contemplating the reasons for love and loss and wondering why we should ever have to say goodbye to people living and breathing and loving on this Earth, I continue to ponder many things...

The cliché of paths and roads and journeys are all so wonderfully true because they paint the picture of how it is to realize that there is no final destination. You can stand still, move forward, go back, get sidetracked, hijacked, ransacked, sprinkled with fairy dust, tormented by billy goats, given three wishes, etc... But the one thing I consistently confirm is that people are the things that have the most impact and therefore the most worth. Some are meant to stay in your life forever, while others linger longer than they should, leave too soon, or fly in fleetingly to some grand effect. In terms of friends and family, I am cosmically blessed with the ability to find and maintain a stunningly cherished set. As far as romantic manly suitors, the odds are not yet in my favor. But I will say that the most impactful men of late have been the ones that have inspired me and encouraged me to work on my art and create. Inspiration and connection are priceless and worth the confusion, even when we are often frustrated beyond reason until clarity is revealed. Either way, the people that we meet, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse, are truly the gems that we collect on this crazy life thoroughfare.

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