"French" Kiss

One of the most important things to me in the history of the world ever is ridiculousness... I attempt to find elements of it in my life on a daily basis. From piracy and glimmer ponies to wizards and "glom soft " fairies, I revel in all things absurd. In my opinion, ridiculousness offers a greater high than any drug I have ever experienced (not that I have experienced many, to be sure). The only thing that surpasses such a feeling is love. Though perhaps comparing the two is like trying to qualify the superiority between unicorns and pegasi... Both are equally ethereal in their own special ways. Not that ridiculousness needs to only involve fantasy nonsense. Simple daily events can result in stunning silliness. For example, last night I had my first real French flirtation, and while being hit on by this swarthy rogue, I messaged my sister-in-law the following gem... "I think I just flirted with a Frenchman while "We Are The World" was playing in the background." I don't think I could have asked for a more sublime contrast than flirting in French in a small town in the south of France while the likes of Cyndi Lauper and other great 80s icons were singing their heart out in the name of universal angst... Brilliance...

And now onto the social implications... On the plus side, I was very proud to have conducted almost the entire evening's exchange in French. I have rarely been able to practice French, even when I was in Paris last time, because all of my French friends speak English better than I speak French. The key is to find someone with little to no English skills so that you are forced to work and stretch and recall your real knowledge. The one negative thing about trying to flirt in French? It is much harder to decipher subterfuge. However, no matter what the language, men should not overlook the importance of feminine intuition. Though I could not immediately grasp what this man seemed to be lying about (with the help of his cousin, no less), I definitely knew there was a little something skeezy in the air. I still made out with him, of course. I mean, give me a glass of wine and I am mainly an idiot. But obviously this was before I unearthed his true douchebaggery. Ultimately, I think I solved the mystery and figured out that he has a wife, a child, and seemed to be under the bizarre misapprehension that I have a boyfriend in Paris and we were therefore on equally immoral ground... Fascinating...

I have known microscopically few men in my life who have made me feel real honesty and trust that they genuinely care for me. By the end of the evening, I was left with an aching sense of longing for this rare creature. Still, one cannot regret the pure ridiculousness of flirtation and a "French" kiss.

Rohan, It's A Small World After All

I am well aware that I currently live in France, not Middle Earth (or even New Zealand for that matter) but I am constantly introduced to scenery that just seems to reek of LOTR. Yesterday I was brought to the small town of Gourdan, which is carved into the mountains of France. Filled with small tourist shops, many perfumes and soaps manufactured by the locals scenting the cool, crisp air. As I looked around the stone cottages and stores, I felt like I was romping around the rocky levels of Rohan. This was also a notable trip because it was adults only (if I can be called such a word after rambling about fantasy lands). Though I adore the kids I have been teaching and love the French language to the point of spending the next year studying it, I must say that bickering teenagers can make ANY language sound grating and/or annoying sometimes ; )

The second city we visited is called Vence, and is equally charming if not so medieval. I feel very privileged to be shown these villages that I honestly had not heard of before, while I have yet to actually step foot in some of the more notable cities of the South. While touring through the streets, we happened upon a small church that drew the eye due to the large golden religious statue looming in front. It's interior was what I would expect from a Catholic lair, stained glass and carved depictions on the walls, old wooden pews, and organ pipes. Not a large place, I was drawn to a television screen in the back that was flashing images of various artwork I assume was hanging in the church. However, I happened upon the screen when images of Christ and the Crucifixion were digitally displayed. I'm sorry, but computer generated Christ to me seems like an oxymoron, just as I have always said about seeing a priest carry a cell phone. In my brain, it's as ludicrously bizarre as seeing a dinosaur using an iPod. Which brings me to the weirdest part of my day. Upstairs there was a display of carved wooden pieces that I was told were displaying the Passion of Christ... Ok... But to me, walking around these strange figures brought to mind only one image... Disney's It's A Small World on religious crack. Add some animatronics and frankly call me horrified. I really am sorry to desecrate these works of art in any way, but I was creeped out, and if there is some heavenly universal force up there, I hope he forgives me, as I think he would also agree its just strange...

Enjoy!!!